I'm Going to Love

I'm Gonna Love

David Rim

Weeks have been flying by. Each time I show up my surrounding seems to catch on fire. Is it from my revived soul setting things ablaze? No its like rollin' up a joint and escaping from reality. Maybe it is just rolling it up, taking that deep breath in, and watching the night sky fade away. Been having a lot of tension in my joints lately. Signs from growing old or extremely stressful situations. My mouth has been ripped apart and the increasing impatience from the dental professional who caused me to have an anxiety attack. They still did a wonderful job though. Not sure why but God blessed me this week and told me to not to squander it away. I asked God why do I have to be kind? Why do I have to turn the other cheek when all they do is talk shit like I do not know. Why do I need to bless them when all they show is disrespect by throwing me under when things get rough. It is not a question I am asking, but more of a statement. God is telling me to simply choose Love every time.

I cannot tell you what I feel. How do I remain in a perfect state of mind. I am human with wounds that keep seeping blood risking infection before they fully close again. As a figure of speech I would probably like to just kill myself. Its been a set of words that have been coming across my dark mind lately. Why cannot I grow? Why can I not overcome this obstacle easily? Love is an interesting concept did you know there are three types? Eros, philia and agape...

Being grateful in every situation will make no room for anxiousness. So this is why I have been trying to choose love each time. I still let me words fly like a double-edged sword. However, what is hot is a kind and loyal soul. It is more precious in this world then the darkness that holds them down from being more. Where words of affirmation is at the lowest is room for growth. Where frustration that occured is from a deeply rooted confusion where intution tells you otherwise.

Every good word is out of love like it's a benediction. Each action that does not come out of love comes from the attraction of sin that does not get expressed. The desires of the heart are hard to manage and subdue. But the feelings between the interactions are genuine and true. I said my hearts deeply rooted with the word I tend to "look after other's own interests first before my own" (go find the verse on google). Its difficult to choose love over everything. Choosing love means I need to sacrafice more of me. Each time I just bite my tongue or work with no rest it pains me deeply.

Now i know one person will take a step over the line of my kindness then Iwill crack a whip then. My souls becoming tired.