Anger...

Angry but not Hangry

Nothing like a summer in Seattle. I sent out a love call to a group of people. Nothing, more then an act out of love to check on people. It took all my energy to not think afterwards.

I was on a small call back and forth. But it seems we cannot come to amends in our ways. They want to teach, be concerned and not listen. Not listening is not at fault, but the focal point of our conversation. Playing poker is not the concern, but the discipline, character and my relationship with Jesus is what is always at stake.

It is about the journey not the end result (loss of money).

I lost a bunch of pots the other day. I ran into people that haven't returned my simple message. Slowly, others were getting time in their schedule to reply to me. I got stuck in traffic bottleneck driving to the airport and even more traffic jams on the route back. My friend came back from vacation and I drove down to meet him. Yet, once again shortly after losing much money I got stuck with a random slowdown of traffic.

I am nothing short of agitated and a little salty from losing.

If anyone wants to be angry it could rightfully be me. A quick catch up gathering. I could see some beautiful groups of people at the table next to ours. The singleness was coming out of me. We eat, laugh, share, pray and drink. As the evening winds down I could hear the loud audible thud.

A person fell down and is talking to themselves. I look around no one's near, but there are people near where I sit. Why are people not batting an eyelid? Why are people so apathetic? Why the fk* is no one helping their elders? How the fk* were people taught growing up? I ran over and did my best for that passive aggressive language the PNW is known for. I gathered all their belongings while doing a self help checklist. I assisted them back to their own two feet. I took the few minutes to bring them back home. Nothing, from my friend too busy now staring at their phone. The others too occupied with themselves. I could feel my anger boil. What is this evil world? Thank you God for this person's safety be with them through their daily lives. Make those around me see this action as a wake up call to be even stronger.

I cannot control the outcome, others, or opportunities. I can control my reactions. I just want to shine so uncomfortablely bright. Regardless of how many times I fail myself and fk* up. I will at least keep moving forward.

I hope I planted a seed so deep... I never knew I could be

so openly angry~