No Doubt

No Doubt

David Rim

Twas a Sunday after a long weeks of hard labor. Finally, the seventh day came for rest. Took the normal shot of caffeine and started the adventure.

The air feels crisp today the signs of winter looms. I can't be infront of the camera now embarrassing. This is some lofi chill vibes just some strings and keys. I can feel the music only if my off tune voice wouldn't be so noticable in worship. It will take some time to warm up I haven't used them all week just some texts.

It's been a few days. I have been glued to the digital screen. Not sure why I feel that need to extend my hand out. I stopped abruptly. I did my detachment thing. My minds a clouded mess and writing allows me to alleviate the pain. But to reconnect feels weird.

I did not think in a million years God could have such jokes. I have made it back to the book of Esther in study and this should be the fourth time re-reading it this year. A year ago Esther saved me from a dark path. Then church decided to do an Esther series. But with family we read through the beginning of the Bible and covered Esther to give context to earlier books. It just means intentionality. Now I am officially in the book of Esther and realized what I missed the other three times. Esther rocked the bass today.

You can just put a million coincidences as blessings from God not seen from the right lens. It's not me spouting a random name. It's the events that happen to happen in consecutive order.

Matthew 6:22 "for where your treasure is, there your heart will also".

I am resisting every ounce of energy to "add". I am quick to be agitated and close to showing anger. The fruits of the spirit simply slipping away temporarily. Quick with the fire words. It's only been a few days, a couple weeks and my heart desires. Just wants to know. Each time I become aloof again. I do not understand how one can be so inclusive, intentional and not feel burned out.

Therefore, I switched my strategy again. The focus will be on my heart from feeling exhausted. I will remain still on the strategy. God first. Me second. Others third. The direction I head learn to call for help. Then ask for help again each new step. There is no doubt of what I am doing now. Can I wait a few more days? Can I hold out for a little longer?

I had a wholesome random interjecting of comments with friends on discord. I cannot begin to explain how I got triggered. It's very simple though. One thing set off a chain of events in my mind like a falling dominoe set. Yet, I was able to pull a piece out before the full picture got revealed. It is the most recent treasures I have stored for now. For that I am sorry to God. As I mentioned though the ones with the same yolk makes things more peaceful. I cannot explain, but the more I push forward the more I will understand.

I have no doubt this.

Is a to be continue...