Emotion

Emotion

David Rim

A mixture of mad and sadden state of mind. I took a seat and the flood of emotions hit harder than the devil on a busy day. What could be wrong my mind is scattered today.

Energy has shifted what was wrong with me? Is anyone wise enough to feel my vibrations dip. I can't shake that feeling why is the verse of the day John 1:5. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it. If the light was bright enough to pull me away from the dark how come bringing him to church failed? Was it the church? Was it the leaders? Was it the prayers of the devil not wanting the light to shine through? I cannot help but miss you. Since, you are one of the few that I let in the door.

The first and last time I went there with you after we got rocked at the poker tables. We had a small celebration after church. You basically said fk them let's just do our thing it's your birthday. I apologize I could not connect you to people at church that day. My light was too dim.

This time I come with a group of friends. They do not know your story. They do not know mine. It's the first of the month though. I have been quietly working hard. Things are still unfamiliar for me. Emotions hit too hard making me a disoriented mess. No, I will keep a poker face on and enjoy this meal. Sorry, the vibes aren't right now.

I had a busy week friend. My sleep has been filled with dreams that I remember. My body will not let me rest deeply. My hearts been aching that I cannot describe so i retracted. I will probably turn to fasting, prayer and praises to kick off this week.

I know you are watching over me. Help me battle these demons. I can't discern these voices. That these conversations are so wholesome and I feel nothing. Nothing, that it's scary they are so close to me unhindered. That every ounce of me enjoys talking about anything or two things over and over until I become exhausted. But thats not the case my brain loves strategy too much. Where it always wants to plan and connect yet I shy away. I cannot allocate enough time to bring life to them. I would love to continue, but I let that timer countdown before I try again. Pray for me while you are up there in heaven. You know what I worry about. Thank you for the short time you found me on earth.

You know I question everything. Let me know if I'm walking into danger. Until then I am going to move forward and create what God told me in the dream. Yeah, the promises I made when I was a child staring at the dark figure holding me down in my bed. Where I told the spirit that they have know power on me in Jesus name. I was finally able to gasp for air and shook. Yet, I let out my agitation for the light shining under that doorway. The noise made me wake up to check with the halls filled with people praying.

I had a math exam the next day. I finished the fastest and couldn't stay awake while being sent to the principals office. “Your father has passed away”

You know I prayed to God. I asked to move some mountains and this is the only narrow path I have. Friend make the decisions for me and just feel free to throw me in the fiery furnace. God you know I'm running away to Nineveh. I also know you gave me direct instruction from dreams the like prophets in old testament. God my decision making is not perfect. Give me wisdom to discern what next steps to take. Let me be bright enough to consume, overtake and be 아름다운 .

Grateful, my heart feels relief now sharing.