Smart

Smart

David Rim

Hello,

It's me again my intrusive thoughts that I do not share. I cannot imagine life without God. Life became rough, people left, people died, hate risen up to the top, let's normalize hysteria, media and propaganda. Why is it that people in the public are all for humanity, yet in the closet they think you are beneath them. Is this what we call fake news? We are all humans. We all share this Earth. No need to step on each other to rise to the top of the corporate ladder. Who the fuck cares if you are rotting inside a rotten tomato at the core. This view of the politics was shared from an ex-military sniper.

All I want to do is be selfish now. But it does not prevent me from wanting to share. Knowledge, wisdom, experience, failures, this trail I walk, and to the space that's being created. It must be heaven on Earth. But it will only taste sweet if God brings me people to share this love with. Otherwise I will just run the other way like I am Jonah again. I have been praying even more. That the thief in the night gets stopped in the grasp before the person losses their breath.

God's telling us to move with fervor. Do not sweat the small stuff. But God's gracious to me anyways how much can I fucking run and still be blessed? My heavily beating heart became slow and the weight only remained. I am laughing inside because in front of me I see three. Me standing there feels the eyes on my back burning a hole like superwoman. And I hear the voices (it's not the demons playing mind games). It's them. It's the final countdown.

I want to be selfish with love. I am gritting my teeth as I never really had a plan. Since, I rooted myself with this Jesus. Even with no dream, plans, hope, vision, and etc... Things feel okay. Whatever I have I throw it to God. God plays hot potato and jokes around with me throwing a pie straight to my face. I took this month to focus my time. I cannot just give it out freely. Strayed far from what God wanted. So to redirect my course it took this long.

People are smart. If I do some research I can know. Nor do I like surprises. My heart can't take it anymore. I will say it here. I will always appreciate the time you carve away from your busy schedules. You accept me for being me and want to take a small step with me. I won't be the type to reach out my hand to ask for help. Yet, it's okay to fake a white lie once in awhile. Just do not let me drink an Americano again.

You read this. I am talking about you.